christmas is almost here <3
School has been out for almost two weeks now and I have not studied for the MCAT yet. dang it. I MUST study!!! Getting ready for Christmas has taken all of my time! 
But I am done with all of my shopping! yay! So let me try to recap…I made all A’s this semester. Yay! I just need to keep it up for one more semester so my transcript will look nice. Please please please I can do it. I am actually very excited for my exercising classes. I am going to look soooo good by the end of this semester. I just hope I don’t die from exhaustion.
I gave my boyfriend his birthday/Christmas gift. His first response was, “why did you spend so much money?” (note: I have been complaining a lot about money because I am running low. Also, I felt really sad that I sold some of my manga for gas money because…well, it’s something I had for a long time.) I got him Beats by Dr. Dre (headphones & and a MAJOR discount). Hehe, he did not expect those as a present at all. It was sooo hard to keep it as a secret! I’m just so happy that he likes it so much. I love it when people love the gifts you give them. It’s a wonderful and bubbly feeling.
My boyfriend makes me so happy. That’s all I can say. Life seems to be so much simpler and relaxing when you don’t have stress factors thrown at you 24/7.
His mom got me this CUTE mini purse/wallet. I love it.
I feel like I’m forgetting things easier. 
But as long as I am happy that’s all that matters! Anyways, I hope everyone has a merry Christmas!!!
jeez.
I can’t believe I screwed up today’s exam. I HAD it. In my head, I was like, this test is easy. You know why I messed up? BECAUSE I didn’t read the question carefully. STUPID aldopentoses!!! I HATE YOU. omg the question was sooo easy. I missed 6 points right off the bat. I was planning on using this test to boost my average but *sigh* Now I actually have to work harder to get an A in the class (~87 to get an A). Okay, I am taking my tests seriously. No more playing around. *beats myself with a bat* I’m sooooo retarded. GAHHH!!!
God, please oh please help me on my finals!!! I’m almost through. No more distractions. I will study hours everyday…I’m guessing I could see where it would be my fault. I have been slacking off big time ever since I started working. But I’m done working. I am planning on scoring the highest grades in all my classes. <– GOAL
My birthday is coming!
SO…I don’t understand guys at all. Or at least I feel bad for this one guy who is falling head over heels for me. He knows I have a boyfriend. He thinks that if my boyfriend wasn’t there, something could happen between us. *rolls eyes* He’s not even my type. I like manly guys. not girly ones. eww. I just want to slap that in front of him. He can be sooo annoying sometimes. Not sometimes. MANY times. I can’t believe he went to bug my friend at work for two hours. Just so he could confess to her about me. Uhhh…yeah, I felt bad for my friend. I am hoping that he never confesses to me because I shut people down when they do.
One other thing, I hate it when guys tell me that they want to show me the world. Stop talking about it and actually show me the world! haha but seriously?? I don’t understand how to get guys to stay as friends. I’m not asking for attention. I actually tell this guy to leave (it takes me several tries to get him off my back). He knows I’m mean to him. And when I do reject him, he told my friend that he’s going to continue bugging me. It’s like this sticky caterpillar I can’t get rid of.
My boyfriend said he feels bad for my friend ’cause he’s falling for me. Apparently, I am his deepest crush. I don’t want to hurt him but I want to make it clear that he’s a very naive boy. I dislike guys who think they know everything when they haven’t experience anything. So yeahhh…I am hoping that I don’t have to reject anyone again for Christmas. It will ruin their Christmas.
On the good note, I have been losing a lot of weight. which is weird. because Thanksgiving has just past and I’m supposed to be round. [not complaining here] So from the last time I checked my weight (two weeks ago? maybe?), I lost an additional 2-3 pounds. *meeps* losing weight is getting sort of easy. haha. If I reached to 95, I have successfully lost 17 pounds. Whoa!! That’s a lot. Wow…I’m amazed.
oh my.
I am supposed to be in bed. sleeping. Happy Thanksgiving! The next two weeks will be…pernicious to my well-being. omg. Finals. I really wish my brain/behavior teacher would let me take that final earlier. But no…he’s not letting me. *sniff* I have to take that final on my birthday too! I have other exams I really have to concentrate on esp. ochem. All I need is a 60 to get an A in that BB class!! Why won’t he let me??? GAHHH!!! NOT only that, I have a fashion show that I have to help run on my birthday too. Why my bday…why oh why.
Pray for me. Hopefully, I will be in decent shape.
joy.
I wish I could stop thinking about the future. I am returning back to my fearful thoughts back in the summer. In three weeks, everything will be crumbling down. I will be forced to face what I had always fear the most for the longest time now. I want to cry but I don’t know any reasons why. I can’t always cling onto my safety net. I have never had a “normal” relationship. That will change into a “normal” one I suppose. ah. life is a boo hoo right now.
wish me luck
The cultural show is over! That takes a whole load off my back. But seriously, I wouldn’t be this stressed if someone didn’t throw everything at me at the last minute. I have a test tomorrow. ahhh! After this week is over, life will be soooo much better (until finals come around…). omg, I can’t wait to get rid of all the ao dai out of my car. Driving with all the dresses is kind of hard. ANYWAYS, this week, we won’t get to have our alone time that much. oh well, next week! When all the stress is taken off of me!!
oh love love love.
Everything’s going great now. It just took me a little while to slowly get adjusted to everything again. Love can take you up and down (literally). During the time that I was really hurting, all I kept thinking, “Why God, why?” I also thought about why people bashed love. Honestly, love is a beautiful thing. It can hurt like hell but at the same time, it can be the happiest thing you can feel. I don’t want to imagine losing love…because he makes me really happy. I am done thinking about the future. I am scared but you know what? I’m done with worrying. Life only comes around once.
I pierced two more holes into my ear. Well, the store did. But I realize, why fret over small little things? When I went to pierce my ear, I felt like the world can’t stop me. I know I’m being a little dramatic.
I’m going to see Colbie Caillat in 12 more hours! Whoo! There is one song that my bf and I can relate to: begin again.
Oh this is not the way that it shouldn’t
It’s the way it should begin
It’s the way it should begin, again
No, I never wanna fall apart,
Never wanna break your heart
Never wanna let you break my own
Yes, I know we’ve said a lot of things
That we probably didn’t mean
But it’s not too late to take them back
I have always been afraid of letting people in my heart. I’m going to try my best to not be afraid. Who knows? Expect the unexpected.
so I’m not dead.
Congratulations to me. Before anyone wonders, everything’s a-okay now? Nope. Not yet. We still haven’t talked which is okay ’cause I’m giving his space. Giving his time to do whatever he wants. I know I miss him a lot. a lot a lot a lot. I wonder if it’s the same with him…I think that’s what I really really want to know. But yeahhh…I need to focus. FOCUS. I have a test tomorrow! I am halfway done reviewing. Blah. I fell asleep so early yesterday after taking medicine. I realize something yesterday. If anything does happen, I am still a pretty darn good girl that’s out of most people’s league. Not to sound cocky but I’m smarter, prettier, and have better athletic skills compared to a lot of girls. Haha okay…just trying to boost my self-esteem up.
